Bad Grammar Can Effect “Hoo” You Date

Comedian Aziz Anzari’s book “Modern Romance” is equal parts scientific research, anecdotal evidence, and stand up comedy. This book isn’t recommended for teens as it deals with mature themes and uses mature language. It reads like an R-rated Freakonomics all about dating in the modern age.

I found the book interesting because it dealt extensively with how people communicate effectively…and not-so-effectively in their romantic relationships. You might be surprised to learn that sloppy communication skills reflected poorly on potential suitors, and for many folks it was a deal breaker.  Anzari relates:

“In any interviews we did, whenever bad grammar or spelling popped up, it was an immediate and major turnoff. Women seemed to view it as a clear indicator that a dude was a bozo. Let’s say you are a handsome, charming stud who really made a great first impression. If your first text is ‘Hey we shud hang out sumtimez,’ you may just destroy any goodwill you have built up.

“On our subreddit we were told a story about a man who was dating a spectacular woman but eventually broke up with her. He said it went downhill once he texted her asking if she had heard about a party at a mutual friend’s house. Her response was ‘Hoo?’ Not ‘Who,’ but ‘Hoo.’ He kept trying to force the word ‘who’ into conversation to make sure this beautiful woman could spell a simple three-letter word. Every time, she spelled it ‘hoo.’ He said it ruined everything. (NOTE: We did confirm that this was a woman and not an owl.)”

Homemade Magic Shell

2 parts refined coconut oil (200g)

3 parts chocolate chips or finely chopped chocolate (300g)

Pinch of salt

Combine ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl and nuke until almost, but not completely liquid. Stir to finish the melting.For easiest use, pour melted mixture into a squeeze bottle. The mixture does not need to be refrigerated for storage. It will be liquid at room temperature in the warm summer months and will be hard during the winter. To reheat, put in microwave or sit the closed container in a cup of hot water for about 10 minutes.  Melt the coconut oil over very low heat. Slowly stir in the chocolate until completely melted and blended. Add a dash of salt and any other flavors you desire. Store your topping in a jar or squeeze bottle. In warmer weather, the topping will remain liquid (but firm up when it coats your ice cream), and in cooler weather, it will solidify. You don’t need to refrigerate it, but if it does solidify, just nuke it for a few seconds to make it all melty again.